Week 2

Well, I made it through Week One. Overall, it was not nearly as bad as I had imagined it would be. There was some rough times, of course, but it was tolerable. Hopefully, this week will be better. It should keep getting easier, I think. I think I've broken the habit and the addiction, and the important thing now is to realize that I can never take even one single puff. NOPE - Not One Puff Ever.

Frustrated

Yesterday was a hard day. I was in a bad mood for most of the day, and had another mini-meltdown on the drive home. I considered going to a yoga class after work, but I ended up just staying home and watching a movie. I think its okay to indulge in laziness once in awhile. I'm definitely hitting the gym tonight though.

I think I am getting a little frustrated now. I'm not exactly sure what I expected to happen when I quit, but I am surprised that I feel exactly the same. I mean, I know it will take time for my body to heal itself, since I've spent so many years destroying it, but I guess I was hoping for immediate gratification. I've heard people say they got a sore throat and cough when they quit, and I haven't really experienced any of that. Not that I want to, necessarily, but it would at least be something to show me that my body has started the healing process.

I pretty much only get the urge to smoke once a day, and surprisingly, it's not even in the morning! Usually it's after work or after dinner. I've been chewing a lot of gum and eating a lot of carrot sticks, and brushing my teeth a lot (which I'm sure my mom is proud of!). I really have not had a single desire to go to the store and buy a pack of cigarettes. I've thought about what it would be like to take a puff off of someone else's, or bum one from them, but I haven't really been around any smokers for that to even be a possibility. And I don't think I would want to reset my quit meter for a single cigarette, it's simply not worth it.

Passing the 4 day mark

Day 4 and still going strong. For the most part it's been okay, but sometimes I get really frustrated. I don't feel like I'm about to break down and smoke, but more like I just want to throw a temper tantrum! Like a little kid at the toy store whose parents won't buy her what she wants. And let me tell you, I was a pretty spoiled child and it is not easy for me not to get what I want! I am trying to stay busy, so it's a good thing there is enough to clean at my apartment to keep me busy for at least a month.

I haven't had too many side effects from the Chantix. Still vivid dreams, and sometimes nausea. I've noticed I've been really tired lately, but I'm not sure if that is from the drug or the nicotine withdrawal. I fall asleep almost as soon as I hit the pillow, but usually, it's always taken me awhile to fall sleep. Now I find that I can't even really read before I go to sleep, which kinda sucks because I love to read, and that is really the only time I get to read!

I filled my house and car with air fresheners, and I can actually smell them now! It used to smell like fragrance over cigarette smoke, but now it just smells clean! I just need to keep focusing on the positives, and keeping myself occupied, and it will continue to get easier.

Day 2

Yesterday went well for the most part. I did have a mini-meltdown around 9 pm, the 24 hour mark. Luckily, my boyfriend has been really supportive, and that helps a LOT. We ended up going out to a bar to see a friend of mine play, and OF COURSE there was a Camel girl walking around passing out free packs of cigarettes. She asked us twice if we were smokers. I guess I consider myself a "recovering" smoker right now, on my way to being an "ex-smoker."

Today has been okay for the most part. There have been a couple of times where I just really felt like I wanted a cigarette, and it can be pretty frustrating. But I know that feeling will pass, and I think the Chantix makes it much easier to help the urge pass. I don't feel any different yet, but supposedly, after 48 hours smoke free, the senses of taste and smell return, and I am very excited about that! I bet I will not be as tolerant of spicy foods as I thought I was! The nicotine is out of your system at 72 hours, so I don't know if it will get better or worse at that point. I guess we will see.

Quit Day

So today is my Quit Day, and it's going pretty well. I can only hope it continues to go well. I was fine on the drive to work this morning, and fine at lunch when I drove to get food. I was really worried about the 'trigger' of driving, but I've found that if I turn on some good music and sing along, I hardly think about smoking. I'm a little bit surprised, but pleased, with myself. It helps to read about it on the Internet I think, because it keeps me thinking about only the negative aspects. It really hasn't been as hard as I thought it would be. At work, someone asked me if I had a lighter, to light birthday candles on a cake. It was the first time in my life that I could say no, I quit smoking. I did track down some matches for him to use, but just being able to say no when he asked was a great feeling. I have driven by several gas stations today, and did not once have the urge to stop and buy cigarettes. I'm sure the Chantix is helping, but I think a lot of it is that I am finally ready to quit. Wish me luck!

Fail

Yesterday was supposed to be my Quit Day, and it came and went and I am still smoking. Much less, but still something. I didn't feel prepared, and I still can't give up that morning smoke. It's not like I even want it anymore, but I just can't give it up. Yesterday I only had 3, which, if you know me, is really good for me. I can't remember the last time I only had 3 cigarettes in a day. I've already had one this morning, and I regret it. I think the problem was that I still had some in my purse. I don't think I would've stopped to buy some, but since it was convenient, I had one. I promised myself that this was my last pack, so only 2 left, no matter what.

My Chantix dose doubled yesterday, and I felt okay in the morning, but when I took the second dose last night, at dinner, it made my stomach hurt something fierce. Of course, I still went outside to have my after dinner cigarette (third and final of the day), even though I felt super nauseous. I guess I am just that dedicated. I felt like I was gonna throw up for 20 min or so, and finally ate some Tums, which I think helped me feel better. I haven't taken my first dose today yet, because I am waiting to take it with my lunch so it (hopefully) won't make me sick.

I can tell I am already going through nicotine withdrawal, because I have a lingering headache, and I am very cranky! But I can definitely tell that the urge to smoke has decreased dramatically. I still think about it (a lot, more than I would like, or care to admit) but it is much easier to deny the urge, and then it passes. I am starting to break myself of the habit. Yesterday at work, I didn't have one from the time I arrived until the time I left. That is the first time since I can remember that I didn't smoke at lunch. I won't have one today either. And I may try not to have one for the rest of the day. I feel ready, or at least more ready than I have been before. I guess we will see!

Almost Time

Well I am on day 6 of Chantix and tomorrow is my last day to smoke. Not many side effects from the drug, except some nausea if i don't take it with food. Also, my dreams have been even more vivid than usual, which is pretty hard to believe, for me! I'm somewhat nervous about quitting, I think the first day will be pretty hard. I cleaned my car today, and will clean my apartment tomorrow and get rid of all of my ashtrays. It's kind of excited, but I don't know what to expect. Because of the Chantix, my body is already going through nicotine withdrawal, so I'm just going to have to deal with the habit. I may have to go to the gym every day for awhile!

Making the decision

I've been thinking about quitting smoking for awhile now, and even more seriously in the last couple of months. I wanted to start a blog to track my journey on the road to smoke-free. I've finally decided that there is no better time than the present to make changes, and this is one of the things I need to do. I hate to admit it, but the thought of life without cigarettes scares me a little. I know I am going to need more than just my own willpower to get through this, and I am going to take Chantix to help, along with the support of my friends and family. I've never tried to stop smoking before, and I am kind of nervous. I've decided to approach it as a trial period, to see what life without cigarettes is like, without the pressure of trying to make this a permanent life change. Hopefully, it will only take once, and I will remain an ex-smoker for life, but I will not beat myself up if it takes me a couple of tries.

So this is where my story begins I guess. I started Weight Watchers in November, and that has been going pretty well. I've been doing a good job of tracking everything I eat and drink. Some people think that it's a bad idea to try to quit smoking and lose weight at the same time, but I think they go hand in hand. I think it will be easier for me to motivate myself to get to the gym, and I think getting to the gym will keep me from smoking. I think it will be easiest to change all three things (eating, exercise and smoking) all at once.

So here goes! I'm filled the Chantix prescription tonight, and will start taking it tomorrow morning. I will try to post daily, or every couple of days, with my triumphs and setbacks, feelings and concerns. Thanks for reading!