Fail

Yesterday was supposed to be my Quit Day, and it came and went and I am still smoking. Much less, but still something. I didn't feel prepared, and I still can't give up that morning smoke. It's not like I even want it anymore, but I just can't give it up. Yesterday I only had 3, which, if you know me, is really good for me. I can't remember the last time I only had 3 cigarettes in a day. I've already had one this morning, and I regret it. I think the problem was that I still had some in my purse. I don't think I would've stopped to buy some, but since it was convenient, I had one. I promised myself that this was my last pack, so only 2 left, no matter what.

My Chantix dose doubled yesterday, and I felt okay in the morning, but when I took the second dose last night, at dinner, it made my stomach hurt something fierce. Of course, I still went outside to have my after dinner cigarette (third and final of the day), even though I felt super nauseous. I guess I am just that dedicated. I felt like I was gonna throw up for 20 min or so, and finally ate some Tums, which I think helped me feel better. I haven't taken my first dose today yet, because I am waiting to take it with my lunch so it (hopefully) won't make me sick.

I can tell I am already going through nicotine withdrawal, because I have a lingering headache, and I am very cranky! But I can definitely tell that the urge to smoke has decreased dramatically. I still think about it (a lot, more than I would like, or care to admit) but it is much easier to deny the urge, and then it passes. I am starting to break myself of the habit. Yesterday at work, I didn't have one from the time I arrived until the time I left. That is the first time since I can remember that I didn't smoke at lunch. I won't have one today either. And I may try not to have one for the rest of the day. I feel ready, or at least more ready than I have been before. I guess we will see!